Falling apart

Well, tomorrow I'm doing what my dentist wants me to, and having a root canal. Yukk!! Idonwanna!! I haven't had one since the first one about 15 years ago, and I vowed if I ever did again I'd take the day off work, so I have a day off whether I feel bad afterwards or not. Luckily the surgery schedule is light tomorrow, so they won't really miss me anyway. I am still in a quandary as well about when to have back surgery. My second opinion doctor says I will not get any better without surgery. The surgery I had in 1990 has finally caught up with me. The disc space has collapsed and the 2 vertebrae need to be separated mechanically. DOUBLE YUKK!! For the time being I can get by with minimal pain. The steroid injections have helped. But that's not a permanent fix, and can eventually damage the bones, and has awful side-effects. And as M.D. #2 reminded me, the pain gets embedded after a while. The nerve pathways that the pain travels get imprinted, and the pain might not go away even when there's no reason to hurt. What is slightly crazy but characteristic of me is that I am thinking of scheduling my surgery around concerts. I think I might be able to live with it until January. By then we will have had the joy of a concert with the philharmonic orchestra and their new conductor, as well as with the chorus's new conductor. I must sit down and write out pro's and con's. I have been praying for God's guidance, for me to make the decision based on logic and sound advice, not just on emotion and my love for singing.