misunderstandings

I have had minor confrontations with two different people in two different places in the last few days and wonder if I am the one who is at fault, since I am the common denominator. Both of these situations were misunderstandings in a way. I seem to have jumped to conclusions that weren't true.

I pray that this is not my true nature. I am feeling low as a toad's belly and can't seem to pick myself up out of the mud I've been slinging.

Perhaps my excuse might be menopause. Perhaps it is the stress of impending doom (surgery). I pray that these things are not just uncovering my inner meanness. Is it really there lurking under the surface? I keep seeing my mother in me. She who many people thought was "So Sweet" and I thought was so ugly and mean-spirited.

Do I only have everyone fooled? Including myself? God, please free me of this horrible depression. I know you have called me princess and have redeemed me by the blood of your son. Why cannot I feel that I am totally worthwhile, even when I am not perfect (even by my standards, not to mention God's)