Clay

Working on my talk for the Walk to Emmaus next month, I've been turning these words around in my head: Information, formation, transformation, and (being) conformed. These words are, in the context of a Christian life, pretty much the whole story. We have to get information from studying the Bible, listening to the Spirit, listening to other Christians, observing God in nature. We allow spiritual formation, maturity to take place in our souls. We become transformed into a more Christ-like human, often in times of great difficulty. We are FORMED. This means we must yield like a lump of clay in the Potter's hands. This is not something we do to ourselves. This only scratches the surface of this topic. Just a summary...

sweet grace

Amazing GRACE, how sweet it is. Amazing God. How awesome he is. How patient and kind to me. How understanding he is of my needs as a frail human that he places himself in my presence in the form of other struggling human beings. If there ever have been times when I doubted this powerful LOVE, he has gently restored me into his presence. Took me by my hand and escorted me into his throne room, then sat on that throne with me in his arms. I truly am his beloved, his princess, his bride. No matter how vile and sinful i see myself, he sees only the image of Jesus that has been imprinted on me and cannot be erased. So that image is at times visible to me, on myself and others. I KNOW that my redeemer lives! I see him all around me and in me.

random

I know no one ever reads this blog, but it is good for me to write a journal here anyway.
I am now preparing a little gig for the widows and widowers luncheon at Fairway Oaks country club. On April 8th. What a joy just to be asked! (Wish they’d pay me, but the reward for this one is to be blessed by all those precious souls in the audience.)
I’ll be singing a bunch of old songs. I had a large set of love songs ready, but couldn’t see myself singing love songs to widows. It might make them cry, which would make me cry. So I’m singing "April Showers", "Pennies from Heaven", "The Sunny Side of the Street" and then some just pretty ones like "Bali Hai" and "Climb Every Mountain".
Then the last song will be a modern song which sounds old, "You Raise Me Up"
I’ll be accompanied by my lovely older friend who taught piano for many years and is a real inspiration to me and a joy to be around. The last song will be accompanied by a CD. _____________Once again I am having trouble making paragraphs on this thing. __________________________________________
My back is still holding on. I did a lot of yard work yesterday and survived quite well.
_____________ I’m going to add "Dido’s Lament" to my recital. It will go nicely with "Rosy Bowers" both by Purcell. This means I’ll drop one more of the French arias, which is fine with Hubby. He (and most of my friends) enjoy the Engilsh songs so much more.

Goals

I've got 2 projects to work on right now. A speech and a recital. Both take quite a bit of preparation for only moments of performance. Both are beginning to take shape pretty well. I really work better under pressure. My speech needs to be ready in 2 weeks, at least for the trial run. The official one is on the Saturday following Easter. It is taking on a life of its own, almost. I think I'm leaning toward quite a bit of humor, at least to begin with. It is connecting with my sacrifice of Chocolate for Lent.
"Hi! My name is Sarah and I'm a Chocoholic". The 12-step people will probably chuckle. I'll tie all that chocolate craving into the topic I've been assigned, "Growth through Study". I hunger for the word of God, as I am now hungering for Chocolate. I think I will extend my chocolate fast until the time I give this speech, then indulge myself.

The recital is less than 6 months away now. My voice is really getting better and better. Shelly has taught me some really practical techniques to relax my throat to hit the high notes with a richer sound. I'm lovin' it!

amazon

Sometimes it seems like conductors want to keep secret from their choirs what new music is supposed to sound like until we unlock the mystery by sight reading. I'm not at all crazy about that method. Seems like they could play a recording of it for us first, then let us sight-read with at least an idea where it's going. That does happen occasionally, but not often enough.

I called our chorus director a couple of days after he first announced the names of the classical pieces we're to sing for the next concert. I got the complete names and descriptions of them and intended to go to the university music library to get recordings of them. He said that he didn't think I'd find any recordings, as they are fairly obscure pieces. I never made it to the music library, and now that it's spring break that's one more week of not getting there. I needed to get some help.

Well Amazon.com is a great resource. I am really SO computer illiterate!! It took me a while to remember a basic like Amazon. I had tried for at least an hour google-ing articles and such. Then Voila! Amazon had all four pieces of classical music on CD's. I've ordered them and they should begin arriving this week. All from different suppliers. All new at discounted prices.
It is possible that the recordings I found with the exact titles of our pieces might not be our same songs. I guess it is possible that Vierne wrote two Messa Solennelle's. Have to wait to get them here to hear them.

So now that we have had a couple of practices and I'm getting a sense of the way they will sound, having the CD's with professional choruses singing them will be of great value to me in learning the pieces really well.

I have been frustrated that there is no place here in Abilene to buy really interesting or really good classical music recordings. It must be that there is so much competition from sources such as Amazon that it is not worth while for a store to stock something that is not really in demand.

Spring Fever

Spring is nearly here. Today’s weather is as perfect as it gets around here. What a blessing to get out in the yard and clean up some. In the fall of 2004 I was unable to do much yard work because of my knee arthroscopy and the healing process after that. Soon after, my back began to really bother me, and I ended up having the fusion 7 months ago. So I had 2 years of stuff to clean up out in the yard. I absolutely PRAISE GOD that I was able to do a couple of hours of yard work with very little discomfort. What a huge blessing. Come to think of it, what a blessing it is just to have a yard to work in.
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I peeled back the wintery blanket of leaves on the sleepy plants snug in their flower beds. Uncovering the moist, dark earth beneath was almost an intrusion into an intimate scene. But the sun warmed it and the chlorophyl began to create energy for the baby plants to awaken. Spring is nearly here. Summer is not far behind. A new season. Time for awakening, blooming, growth and renewal.

Spring Break

Spring Break is here.
I am 90% out of that loop. No kids in school, no official connection with any schools, except that they’re all around me and they’re all on spring break next week. But I am affected indirectly quite a lot.
My son’s taking his last undergrad spring break, leaving in the morning for a Disk Golfing tour of Disk Golf courses east of here, all the way to the Atlantic. I don’t get to go along and that is fine with me. 10 days with 8 or 10 guys in their early 20's is fun for THEM.
ACU is going to be largely deserted. That means the music building will be locked most of the time. I really can’t practice well here at home. I go to the music building several times a week usually, and need to keep up that habit for the next 6 months, until my recital, at least.
The biggest bummer is that several of my coworkers are taking spring break off. We will have a low census at work all week, and that’s well and good, but I have to do all the work! They’re all off spring-breaking and I’m working. What’s wrong with that picture? Well, pay-back time is coming soon. I’ll have a two week vacation in May and one week in July. Most of my co-workers don’t get as much PTO, but I have seniority. Whoopee. There is something to be said for getting old.

Chocolate

I gave up chocolate for Lent..
No big deal to my friend Ann. She really doesn’t like chocolate. I am the quintessential Chocohollic. I like my coffee mocha. I like my ice cream either Jamocha almond fudge or Rocky Road or just plain Blue Bell chocolate. With chocolate syrup on it. Blizzards with Heath bars in them. And I love chocolate candy in any form.
As nurses, we remind each other while eating the forbidden fruit that it really is beneficial to our health, providing some essential nutrients, I am quite sure. High up there on the food pyramid. I usually medicate myself frequently during the day, at least at work, with the various forms of chocolate readily available on the secretary’s desk. She and other chocolate loving staff members keep her supplied with those enormous bags available at Sams. The peanut M&M’s run a close second to the bite sized Snickers as my favorites. I can’t remember the last time I actually bought a real Snickers bar. That’s way too forbidden. But I am sure I eat the equivalent of a full sized bar in bite-size pieces on a daily basis.
The Russell Stover outlet is way too close to my house. I can easily swing in there as I exit the loop to come home from the south side of town. They even have a large selection of what I call "fake chocolate", the kind that either says "low carb" or "no sugar added". It is not as satisfying as the real deal, though. Probably lacks those essential medicinal properties.
I attended an Ash Wednesday service at Highland a week ago. Not a traditional Ash Wednesday service complete with ashes on the forehead, but a service explaining what it is all about, and the period of Lent and it’s significance in our lives. I was truly convicted. This happens to also be a period of introspection for me, as I am preparing a talk for a Walk to Emmaus which will take place just after Easter.
So I gave up chocolate for Lent. Not as a ritual that was taught to me from childhood. Not as an assignment from anyone. Not because I felt obligated to, but because I wanted this period of time to bring me closer to God. An exercise in self denial that I hope will have many benefits.
As the days have progressed, I have longed for the object of my addiction more than I thought I would. The self-imposed deprivation is already giving me many opportunities every day to remember why I am doing this. That candy jar is right there where I pass by many times every day. I decided that during Lent I would train myself to automatically think of Jesus each time I wanted chocolate.
My brief thoughts each time I deny myself of this pleasure consist of the sweetness of the chocolate compared with the sweetness of Heaven. Jesus willingly gave up the richness and sweetness of Heaven in order to make my life in Him possible. He must have been able to still taste that sweetness while he dwelt here on Earth. He was constantly in communion with his Father, and how sweet that must have been. If I have a longing for Heaven as a human with no real concept of its Glory, how he must have longed for his home. But he gave it up. For me.
Jesus quite willingly allowed himself to be slaughtered for my salvation. He did not resist. I wonder if, while he was dying, he could taste that sweetness that was soon to be his again. Life in a mortal body must have been so very hard, knowing what immortality felt like. His blood was poured out as a gift to me.
When I took communion Sunday and tasted the sweetness of the grape juice, these thoughts overwhelmed me. I sat and savored that sweetness, thought of Jesus, his sacrifice, his humanity, his longing for home and my longing for home. I thought of my crude and simplistic attempt to sacrifice something in order to come a little closer to Jesus and relate slightly in my human way to what it must have been like for him. Already I love him more.

Update

Perhaps if I update this blog more frequently I won't have to make paragraphs anyway. Each day is a new subject. Whatever--today is Tuesday. Last night's rehearsal was really, finally, back to the kind of music I love. It is difficult and challenging, but beautiful and classical. "Normal" harmonies. Latin and more Latin. Some English and German. Even our conductor indicated that he loves this music and was holding back on us until we were "ready". More plans for next year, including a major work with an orchestra. They're applying for a grant. I just keep getting more positive about the whole chorus. Compared to last year at this time, it is night and day.------------------------------------------------------------------------------If anyone is interested, there is a very nice daily devotional at: http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/devotional.aspx They e-mail it to you daily.

I hope I can make this thing do paragraphs!

The last few times I've posted I couldn't make paragraphs. I hit "enter" and it goes off the page. Yep, it's doing it again. I suppose it is my slow computer and the slow internet connection, or so my son says. I am not literate enough to do anything about it and my blog is not important enough to anyone for me to invest any time or effort into changing anything.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------So that is a paragraph. Maybe that will work. -------------------------------------------------------------------Last Saturday after rehearsal I went to Steinmart on a whim. Just wanted to LOOK. Ha. I found a top that I'll wear in my recital. Flaming red, glitter all over, cowl neck and sleeveless. Not tight, not real loose. And a sweater to match. Scratchy as HECK on the outside, soft on the inside and gorgeous. $15.33 for both!! Gotta find a great new skirt.

The concert went as well as could be expected. The director's wife said she enjoyed it, and that means a lot to Paul. But I cracked up when he said she thought it was 8-part harmony. It was 4. We were just messed up on the Fa-La-La's.
Anyway, he's not going to give up on us. We're starting rehearsals for the May concert. Classical music this time, hallelujah! And I had actually feared that he might be giving up on us because that last concert was so pitiful. But he is in this for the long haul! WE ARE IN THE BEGINNING PLANNING STAGES FOR A TOUR! EUROPE!! Early summer of 2008.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Those paragraphs are in there because I cut and pasted from e-mail I sent to someone.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So anyway, I'm pumped that we might go to Europe! Probably Salsburg and Vienna, to sing in some cathedrals. I am just relieved that our conductor is committed to continuing with our chorus and has some goals in mind for us both musically and as an organization. ------------------------------------Last night the combined choruses of all three universities sang with an extra-large Philharmonic orchestra. I loved it, but wanted to be on stage.------------------------------------------------Today I had a coaching session with my accompanist. She recorded4 songs for me to practice singing with. She will add all coaching sessions to the final bill.------------------------------- I am now confident that I can get several sponsors. One friend even stopped me at church and said she heard I needed sponsors and very much wanted to be a part of that. So if I can get 12 or 15 sponsors at $25 a pop I'll have nearly half of my expenses covered. The sponsors will get an advertisement on the back of my program, for what that's worth. The sponsors will also get an accounting of how I spent my money.---------Don't think I've posted recently enough to comment about this, but my employer has rejected my request for corporate sponsorship. ---------------------------------------------Well, Hubby and I have booked a cabin in the woods near the continental divide for our anniversary and his birthday. We're going to celebrate an anniversary that has a number so high that surely I was a mere child when I got married. And I will refrain from giving any details here regarding our travel for security reasons. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Is anyone else out there in cyberspace afraid of bad guys also out there in cyberspace?--------------------------------------------------------------Does anyone know why I can't make paragraphs by hitting enter?